I really don't want to write this post because I really hate what I have to write. As you all already know, we lost Baby Jane last week. She was 9 weeks + 1 day in the making, and as most of you suspected, she was actually a HE!
It's not that we are necessarily surprised. After all, we knew the risk of miscarriage was high. It's just that we had turned a corner in week 8, and we were so hopeful. It just came at a time when we weren't expecting it. Silly me, I told a lot of people after Baby Jane caught up in size. You never tell before the 12th week, everybody knows that! I just couldn't contain myself.
We had a D&C on Thursday and it was mostly uneventful, although the nurse told me I had trouble falling asleep and they had to sedate me more heavily than they originally planned. The doctors and nurses were so patient with me and kind. My doctor has exceptionally good bedside manner. He looked so hurt for us when he told us what was happening. Bless him.
They sent Baby Jane away for chromosomal testing to determine what went wrong. We got the results yesterday that Baby Jane was a normal, healthy boy. There was nothing wrong with him. He was perfect. He was 1 inch long and he had little hands and little feet and little ears.
Which means, it was me. My body did something wrong. I don't believe I did anything intentionally to hurt the baby, but no matter how you spin it, you can't argue with the fact that it was my fault we lost the baby. (I can hear the lectures cranking up already!)
The doctor wants to test me for clotting and auto immune disorders. Maybe a blood clot developed in the placenta and cut off his blood supply. Maybe my body attacked him like a virus.
For me, this is the worst possible result. I don't think I can ever trust myself to try again.
I did some research, and the treatment for clotting disorders is to take baby aspirin during the pregnancy, which I did. And if my body is just going to attack the baby, of course I am never going to risk it again. And what if it's neither of these things? Then it's unexplained, and I would never risk hurting another baby.
For Kelly, we got the best result possible. To him it means we are able create a perfectly healthy baby together. And he believes we can find a way to create a nurturing home for a healthy baby to grow in. I admire his strength and faith.
I am currently 'detoxing'. We have to wait 6 weeks before running any further tests. I guess it's a good idea to go ahead and do the tests to see if we can get some answers. But then again, I thought it was a good idea to do the chromosomal testing on the fetus, but I was never more distraught than when they told me he was a perfectly healthy little boy.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Grow, baby, grow!
Man, have we got an awesome group of prayer warriors or what?! It's a miracle! Baby Jane is catching up!
It feels so nice to get good news for a change. Yesterday's appointment was one of the best yet. Baby Jane is now only 3 days behind in size, and that puts her within the 'normal' range.
Last week she was 0.5 cm long, and this week she is 1.5 cm, so she tripled in size this week. WOW, that is so cool to me.
And her heart is beating 167 times per minute, which is perfect. I was amazed that my doctor was able to look at the little fuzzy dot on the screen and see a flicker (which I still can't see unless they zoom way in) and guess that the heart was beating 160-170 times per minute. How could he guess so precisely? Amazing.
We've got to go in next Wednesday for one more ultra sound just to make sure things are still on track. In the meantime I am staying on all my medicine just to play it safe.
It almost feels official to me.
Thank you all for praying so hard this week. We love you all!
It feels so nice to get good news for a change. Yesterday's appointment was one of the best yet. Baby Jane is now only 3 days behind in size, and that puts her within the 'normal' range.
Last week she was 0.5 cm long, and this week she is 1.5 cm, so she tripled in size this week. WOW, that is so cool to me.
And her heart is beating 167 times per minute, which is perfect. I was amazed that my doctor was able to look at the little fuzzy dot on the screen and see a flicker (which I still can't see unless they zoom way in) and guess that the heart was beating 160-170 times per minute. How could he guess so precisely? Amazing.
We've got to go in next Wednesday for one more ultra sound just to make sure things are still on track. In the meantime I am staying on all my medicine just to play it safe.
It almost feels official to me.
Thank you all for praying so hard this week. We love you all!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tinkle, tinkle little star
Just a quick post to say that my bloodwork from yesterday came back "perfect" and my urine sample showed no bacteria or protein. It did, however, have some ketones in it, and the nurse called me to tell me to drink more water.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am already getting up to pee 4 times during the night, and they want me to drink more? I'll do it, obviously, but geez, I can't stay off the pot these days :)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am already getting up to pee 4 times during the night, and they want me to drink more? I'll do it, obviously, but geez, I can't stay off the pot these days :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
118 bpm
We heard the heart beat! Baby Jane's heart is beating 118 times per minute. Anything over 100 bpm is good, so it's right on track.
However, there is a little bit of bad news. Baby Jane is a runt! She's only 0.5 cm long which is about the size of 6 weeks + 2 days, not 7 weeks + 1 day. The normal range of growth allows a baby to lag behind about 3 days, but we're more like 6 days behind, and that's not good.
The doctor said it's a "soft" sign, not a "hard" sign, because at that small size there could be an error in the ultra sound reading. We're going back next Monday to have another ultra sound, so this week I need you all to pray for a growth spurt.
The doctor said if the heart beat had not been good, then the 2 factors together would have meant the end.
After getting pregnant through IVF, at least at my clinic, the average rate of miscarriage is 10%. When the baby is small at the first ultra sound, that rate increases to 50%. But that also means there's a 50% chance everything is fine. Let's stay positive.
I did ask if there was anything I could do, and he said what's done is done. There is nothing I could do or not do at this point to help Baby Jane along.
I was hoping I could get off some of my meds today, but we were only able to switch them around a bit. I am going to stop the unmentionable one and increase the amount of progesterone I am taking in the shots to 2cc per day. That's a LOT considering it already takes (feels like) 10 minutes for Kelly to drain 1cc from the needle. Still, it's way better than the unmentionable.
Oh, one more thing, the doctor said because I am on progesterone there will be no symptoms if I miscarry; no bleeding, no cramping. I guess the progesterone continually tells your body it's pregnant and to keep going. The way we will find out is by looking at the ultra sound to see if that the baby has stopped growing or that the heart has stopped beating.
Here comes another "longest week of my life".
However, there is a little bit of bad news. Baby Jane is a runt! She's only 0.5 cm long which is about the size of 6 weeks + 2 days, not 7 weeks + 1 day. The normal range of growth allows a baby to lag behind about 3 days, but we're more like 6 days behind, and that's not good.
The doctor said it's a "soft" sign, not a "hard" sign, because at that small size there could be an error in the ultra sound reading. We're going back next Monday to have another ultra sound, so this week I need you all to pray for a growth spurt.
The doctor said if the heart beat had not been good, then the 2 factors together would have meant the end.
After getting pregnant through IVF, at least at my clinic, the average rate of miscarriage is 10%. When the baby is small at the first ultra sound, that rate increases to 50%. But that also means there's a 50% chance everything is fine. Let's stay positive.
I did ask if there was anything I could do, and he said what's done is done. There is nothing I could do or not do at this point to help Baby Jane along.
I was hoping I could get off some of my meds today, but we were only able to switch them around a bit. I am going to stop the unmentionable one and increase the amount of progesterone I am taking in the shots to 2cc per day. That's a LOT considering it already takes (feels like) 10 minutes for Kelly to drain 1cc from the needle. Still, it's way better than the unmentionable.
Oh, one more thing, the doctor said because I am on progesterone there will be no symptoms if I miscarry; no bleeding, no cramping. I guess the progesterone continually tells your body it's pregnant and to keep going. The way we will find out is by looking at the ultra sound to see if that the baby has stopped growing or that the heart has stopped beating.
Here comes another "longest week of my life".
Monday, August 31, 2009
Due date
One more update for today......
The nurse called this afternoon to say that my bloodwork looks good, and that they want me to stay on my meds until my next ultra sound, and then they will start weening me off all the hormones.
I am 5 weeks along. Actually 5 weeks plus 1 day. And that's because they count from the day you started your last period, not from the actual conception or implantation date. That makes our due date April 30th. The date may change based on all the measurements they will take in the upcoming ultra sound. That's going to be on September 14th, by the way. We'll get to see the heartbeat!
Anyway, I am taking it easy for the next 2 weeks because I have to grow a heart! How cool is that?!
The nurse called this afternoon to say that my bloodwork looks good, and that they want me to stay on my meds until my next ultra sound, and then they will start weening me off all the hormones.
I am 5 weeks along. Actually 5 weeks plus 1 day. And that's because they count from the day you started your last period, not from the actual conception or implantation date. That makes our due date April 30th. The date may change based on all the measurements they will take in the upcoming ultra sound. That's going to be on September 14th, by the way. We'll get to see the heartbeat!
Anyway, I am taking it easy for the next 2 weeks because I have to grow a heart! How cool is that?!
Close call
Warning, this may be too graphic for some.
We had a lot going on this weekend, and I did several things Kelly did not approve of. First, I went to the grocery store and lifted a tray of bottled water by myself, and a watermelon. We also went to a concert, and I stood up for a lot of it and cheered and (according to Kelly) jumped up and down too much. I don't remember doing any jumping; I would say it was more like bobbing than jumping, but okay, I moved around a lot. We also had company this weekend, including 3 kids, and I lifted them as well.
I did not feel any pain or cramping until Sunday night, and when I was taking the clothes out of the dryer I just felt like something was not right. And in the night I had some bleeding, including a sizable clot, which I dug out of the pot to inspect. (I told you this might be graphic!) It contained some white tissue looking stuff within the blood and I was positive it was Baby Jane. This was at 3:30 am and I was up all night crying and convincing myself I had lost the baby.
Fortunately, we had a doctor's appointment this morning anyway. When we got there I, of course, burst into tears, but the doctor reassured me it was probably nothing to be worried about, and that 50% of women have first tri-mester bleeding, and even the white tissue looking stuff probably had an explanation.
We did an ultra sound, and there it was, a little gestational sac still stuck to the wall of my uterus. Just one, not multiples. We were so, so, SO relieved! The doctor said I have to take it easy, and Kelly has already given me the "I told you so" lecture. I promise to listen to him 100% from now on, and if he wants to do all the housework and lifting, then I am going to let him.
The doctor told me to take it especially easy over the next 7-10 days. He could see the spot that was bleeding in my uterus when we did the ultra sound, and he said there may be more, but don't worry unless it gets heavy or is accompanied by a lot of pain.
The doctor also referred to my being 5 weeks along. I can't figure out that math, but going with that figure, I should have a due date around the last week of April. I still don't have an official due date, or any more appointments for that matter. Everything happens one step at a time. They will call me this afternoon with my blood test results and tell me what the next step is. It's going to be a long 9 months, I can already tell.
We had a lot going on this weekend, and I did several things Kelly did not approve of. First, I went to the grocery store and lifted a tray of bottled water by myself, and a watermelon. We also went to a concert, and I stood up for a lot of it and cheered and (according to Kelly) jumped up and down too much. I don't remember doing any jumping; I would say it was more like bobbing than jumping, but okay, I moved around a lot. We also had company this weekend, including 3 kids, and I lifted them as well.
I did not feel any pain or cramping until Sunday night, and when I was taking the clothes out of the dryer I just felt like something was not right. And in the night I had some bleeding, including a sizable clot, which I dug out of the pot to inspect. (I told you this might be graphic!) It contained some white tissue looking stuff within the blood and I was positive it was Baby Jane. This was at 3:30 am and I was up all night crying and convincing myself I had lost the baby.
Fortunately, we had a doctor's appointment this morning anyway. When we got there I, of course, burst into tears, but the doctor reassured me it was probably nothing to be worried about, and that 50% of women have first tri-mester bleeding, and even the white tissue looking stuff probably had an explanation.
We did an ultra sound, and there it was, a little gestational sac still stuck to the wall of my uterus. Just one, not multiples. We were so, so, SO relieved! The doctor said I have to take it easy, and Kelly has already given me the "I told you so" lecture. I promise to listen to him 100% from now on, and if he wants to do all the housework and lifting, then I am going to let him.
The doctor told me to take it especially easy over the next 7-10 days. He could see the spot that was bleeding in my uterus when we did the ultra sound, and he said there may be more, but don't worry unless it gets heavy or is accompanied by a lot of pain.
The doctor also referred to my being 5 weeks along. I can't figure out that math, but going with that figure, I should have a due date around the last week of April. I still don't have an official due date, or any more appointments for that matter. Everything happens one step at a time. They will call me this afternoon with my blood test results and tell me what the next step is. It's going to be a long 9 months, I can already tell.
Monday, August 24, 2009
BINGO!
You know when you play bingo and you're always just 1 number away but you never win? And then there's that one moment when they call your last number and you're thinking, "did I hear that right?" and sit there and just keep thinking "that's not possible, have I just won?!"
That's what I feel like right now.
We just got the call from our doctor, first to scold me because he heard I had cheated and taken an at-home test, and second to inform us that the test was wrong, and that I am indeed PREGNANT! Holy cow, what did he just say? Did I hear that right?
Kelly actually took the call. I was too scared to answer the phone. I ran into the bedroom and prepared for meltdown. Then I heard him say, "THAT'S FANTASTIC," and those of you who know Kelly can totally imagine hearing him say that.
I am absolutely STUNNED. I really, really expected to get a negative result today. I cannot believe this whole process has actually worked. I really, really can't believe that God has decided it's time for me to be a mommy.
That's what I feel like right now.
We just got the call from our doctor, first to scold me because he heard I had cheated and taken an at-home test, and second to inform us that the test was wrong, and that I am indeed PREGNANT! Holy cow, what did he just say? Did I hear that right?
Kelly actually took the call. I was too scared to answer the phone. I ran into the bedroom and prepared for meltdown. Then I heard him say, "THAT'S FANTASTIC," and those of you who know Kelly can totally imagine hearing him say that.
I am absolutely STUNNED. I really, really expected to get a negative result today. I cannot believe this whole process has actually worked. I really, really can't believe that God has decided it's time for me to be a mommy.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Twas the night before Christmas...
I feel sure there will be no sleeping in this house tonight. Our appointment for a pregnancy test is at 8am tomorrow morning. And I am pretty sure they'll take the whole day to call us back with the results.
From reading others' stories I am prepared for three possible answers: yes, no, or we're not really sure. They might detect some hCG in my blood but not enough to be sure of a pregnancy, so I might have to go in again for a few more days to test and make sure the level is increasing. The thought of being in suspense longer just makes my head spin.
Last night I had some very bad (wake you up in the middle of the night) cramps. The pain was very obviously in one spot on the right side, very low down, not near my ovaries and not really where I normally feel menstrual cramps. I am also pretty sure it was worse when I laid on my left side.
So I am imagining a little embryo is stuck on the right wall of my uterus and it didn't want me to lay on my left side where the gravity would try to pull it away from it's home on the wall. Sounds scientifically possible, right?
That about sums it up right there, over-analyzing every twinge, imagining the best and the worst. This waiting really is the absolute worst part of this whole process.
From reading others' stories I am prepared for three possible answers: yes, no, or we're not really sure. They might detect some hCG in my blood but not enough to be sure of a pregnancy, so I might have to go in again for a few more days to test and make sure the level is increasing. The thought of being in suspense longer just makes my head spin.
Last night I had some very bad (wake you up in the middle of the night) cramps. The pain was very obviously in one spot on the right side, very low down, not near my ovaries and not really where I normally feel menstrual cramps. I am also pretty sure it was worse when I laid on my left side.
So I am imagining a little embryo is stuck on the right wall of my uterus and it didn't want me to lay on my left side where the gravity would try to pull it away from it's home on the wall. Sounds scientifically possible, right?
That about sums it up right there, over-analyzing every twinge, imagining the best and the worst. This waiting really is the absolute worst part of this whole process.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
"Between the wish and the thing lies waiting"
I just have one thing to say about the 9 embryos that did not survive.
I am determined not to entertain any feelings of disappointment or regret this week. One thing I know for sure is that stress is the worst possible thing for the 3 embryos swimming around inside me right now.
That's it.
Now, I am going to give you some stats on the 3 embryos that were transferred. On day 3 they like to see 6-10 cells developed and less vs. more fragmentation. Fragmentation of 30-40% is bad. And having fewer than 6 cells is bad.
We transferred an 8-cell, a 7-cell, and a 6-cell embryo, all of which had 10-20% fragmentation.
Another way to look at this is to use a 4 point scale, kind of like grades you get in school.
A 4+ is perfect, followed by a 4, and then a 4-. After that comes 3+, 3, and 3- and so on. Get it?
All three of ours were graded as 3+.
The reason we rushed in for a transfer on day 3 instead of waiting until day 5 was because only 3 embryos were in the "good" range on day 3, and to let them grow in the dish for 2 more days would have increased our risk of losing them. Amazingly, embryos grow better in their natural environment. Duh.
Since we went in on Wednesday instead of Friday I was not able to have my normal doctor for the transfer. So far my doctor has done neither my retrieval nor my transfer. He did do my surgery, though. And I am sure that all 4 doctors at CCRM are quite capable. Actually, my doctor is the newbie, and the 2 I've had for retrieval and transfer are the founders.
My current drug routine is as follows:
1. Progesterone in sesame oil shots in the morning. I have only accidentally seen the needle one time. As long as I don't see the needle, I really can't feel the difference in it and the smaller needles we had before.
2. Vivelle patches, four, every other day.
3. Baby aspirin, one every morning.
4. Estradiol pills (2mg) twice a day, morning and night.
5. Pre-natal vitamins every morning.
6. And one other unmentionable that turned out not to be as bad as I thought it would be, but I am still not going to describe it here.
I have not really had any symptoms yet. I had a scare on Monday...bad cramps, thought I was starting a period. Turns out I only needed to have a poo :) I felt way better once that was done.
Speaking of periods, I am due to start tomorrow. Hopefully I won't!
The only other symptom I have had is breast tenderness, and it only started today. It is probably being caused by all the estrogen I am taking. The same thing happened during the retrieval when my estrogen levels were sky-rocketing.
I can say that these 2 weeks have been (are) the longest two weeks of my life. Monday cannot come soon enough.
I am determined not to entertain any feelings of disappointment or regret this week. One thing I know for sure is that stress is the worst possible thing for the 3 embryos swimming around inside me right now.
That's it.
Now, I am going to give you some stats on the 3 embryos that were transferred. On day 3 they like to see 6-10 cells developed and less vs. more fragmentation. Fragmentation of 30-40% is bad. And having fewer than 6 cells is bad.
We transferred an 8-cell, a 7-cell, and a 6-cell embryo, all of which had 10-20% fragmentation.
Another way to look at this is to use a 4 point scale, kind of like grades you get in school.
A 4+ is perfect, followed by a 4, and then a 4-. After that comes 3+, 3, and 3- and so on. Get it?
All three of ours were graded as 3+.
The reason we rushed in for a transfer on day 3 instead of waiting until day 5 was because only 3 embryos were in the "good" range on day 3, and to let them grow in the dish for 2 more days would have increased our risk of losing them. Amazingly, embryos grow better in their natural environment. Duh.
Since we went in on Wednesday instead of Friday I was not able to have my normal doctor for the transfer. So far my doctor has done neither my retrieval nor my transfer. He did do my surgery, though. And I am sure that all 4 doctors at CCRM are quite capable. Actually, my doctor is the newbie, and the 2 I've had for retrieval and transfer are the founders.
My current drug routine is as follows:
1. Progesterone in sesame oil shots in the morning. I have only accidentally seen the needle one time. As long as I don't see the needle, I really can't feel the difference in it and the smaller needles we had before.
2. Vivelle patches, four, every other day.
3. Baby aspirin, one every morning.
4. Estradiol pills (2mg) twice a day, morning and night.
5. Pre-natal vitamins every morning.
6. And one other unmentionable that turned out not to be as bad as I thought it would be, but I am still not going to describe it here.
I have not really had any symptoms yet. I had a scare on Monday...bad cramps, thought I was starting a period. Turns out I only needed to have a poo :) I felt way better once that was done.
Speaking of periods, I am due to start tomorrow. Hopefully I won't!
The only other symptom I have had is breast tenderness, and it only started today. It is probably being caused by all the estrogen I am taking. The same thing happened during the retrieval when my estrogen levels were sky-rocketing.
I can say that these 2 weeks have been (are) the longest two weeks of my life. Monday cannot come soon enough.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Well its day 3 after the transfer and Amy's already a bit stir crazy having to take it easy laying around the house. Not sure if the cravings are supposed to start this early...but I've already made two runs to the Panarea Bread Company in the past 24 hours....
We found out today that the other nine embryos did not make it to 'blast' stage. Amy is taking it pretty hard that they did not make it. I feel we were blessed to have three that were ready for the transfer. I hope all goes well with the three. The doctor said there's a 5% chance that we will end up with triplets. We'll have to wait and see.
Next big milestone is August 24th with the pregnancy test.
We found out today that the other nine embryos did not make it to 'blast' stage. Amy is taking it pretty hard that they did not make it. I feel we were blessed to have three that were ready for the transfer. I hope all goes well with the three. The doctor said there's a 5% chance that we will end up with triplets. We'll have to wait and see.
Next big milestone is August 24th with the pregnancy test.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Amy, Amy or Elizabeth?
Wednesday morning we get a call from the doctor to come to in for the transfer in three hours!!! The procedure was originally scheduled for Friday, but three of the embryos were ready NOW!
We dropped everything and rushed to the hospital. Once there, we checked in and after a quick blood test was escorted to the room where we waited for the transfer.
We were a little bit nervous when the nurse asked "which Amy are you ?"............apparently there were two Amy's having transfers done at the same time.......even more concerning when we got to the room and saw Elizabeth was the name on the door! The nurse assured us that everything is triple checked to make sure we did not wind up with someone elses kids.. :)
Once in the room, the nurse went through the instructions for post procedure (bed rest, continue on medications, no exercises/anything that might cause over heating, etc), then gave Amy a pill to relax..... :)
Then the doctor came in and talked about what had happened......the 12 embryos were thawed and they were watching them carefully. It was apparent that 3 of them stood out as the best of the bunch and that the others were not doing so good. Rather than wait, they decided to move forward quickly with the three best ones.
The embryologist wheeled in a cart with that doubles for one of those premature baby carts used in the hospital (covered, controled temperature, etc)....only with a glass dish in the center. She clicked on the display screen above the cart and there they were.....three groups of cells (8, 7 and 6). Pretty amazing.........
The doctor took the position, the nurse and we were watching the ultrasound picture of the uterus and the embryologist carefully placed the embryos into a syringe with a long tube at the end. The doctor placed the embryos into Amy's uterus as we watched....and then they were there...a small white spec on the screen. The total procedure took about 10 minutes.
Amy reclined with feet higher than her head....and she rested/slept for an hour before we were released to go home.
Once home, it was strict bed rest. We did watch one of her favourite shows, Mama Mia...which was probably a mistake....all I could do to keep her from dancing....must stay calm......
She can start getting back to normal activity on Friday.
We go to the doctor's office on August 24th for a pregnancy test.
We dropped everything and rushed to the hospital. Once there, we checked in and after a quick blood test was escorted to the room where we waited for the transfer.
We were a little bit nervous when the nurse asked "which Amy are you ?"............apparently there were two Amy's having transfers done at the same time.......even more concerning when we got to the room and saw Elizabeth was the name on the door! The nurse assured us that everything is triple checked to make sure we did not wind up with someone elses kids.. :)
Once in the room, the nurse went through the instructions for post procedure (bed rest, continue on medications, no exercises/anything that might cause over heating, etc), then gave Amy a pill to relax..... :)
Then the doctor came in and talked about what had happened......the 12 embryos were thawed and they were watching them carefully. It was apparent that 3 of them stood out as the best of the bunch and that the others were not doing so good. Rather than wait, they decided to move forward quickly with the three best ones.
The embryologist wheeled in a cart with that doubles for one of those premature baby carts used in the hospital (covered, controled temperature, etc)....only with a glass dish in the center. She clicked on the display screen above the cart and there they were.....three groups of cells (8, 7 and 6). Pretty amazing.........
The doctor took the position, the nurse and we were watching the ultrasound picture of the uterus and the embryologist carefully placed the embryos into a syringe with a long tube at the end. The doctor placed the embryos into Amy's uterus as we watched....and then they were there...a small white spec on the screen. The total procedure took about 10 minutes.
Amy reclined with feet higher than her head....and she rested/slept for an hour before we were released to go home.
Once home, it was strict bed rest. We did watch one of her favourite shows, Mama Mia...which was probably a mistake....all I could do to keep her from dancing....must stay calm......
She can start getting back to normal activity on Friday.
We go to the doctor's office on August 24th for a pregnancy test.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
On again, off again
I got a couple of calls on Monday from the nurses who were reviewing my charts and wondering what to do about this fluid in my lining. My progesterone level was good on Monday, but everyone was still distressed about the estrogen level and the fluid.
So, rather than wait until Thursday, they had me come in this morning to do another ultra sound and check my estrogen level once again, hoping something had changed.
I knew I would know right away about the fluid because you can see it right on the screen if it's there. But today it was NOT there, YAY!
We don't know what caused it, and we don't know what caused it to go away, but it's gone now, and we're on again for Friday!
Oddly enough, my lining has thinned out since Saturday. It's now just over 9mm, compared to 11mm on Saturday. I haven't had a period, so I can't think of any way that could have happened.
I am starting to suspect that none of this in an exact science.
Oh yeah, my estrogen level was a whopping 331 today.
The only part still in motion is the embryology stuff, and I didn't get a call from them today to tell me how it's going. I am assuming that's a good sign and that nothing 'unusual' is going on. See how positive I can be? :)
So, rather than wait until Thursday, they had me come in this morning to do another ultra sound and check my estrogen level once again, hoping something had changed.
I knew I would know right away about the fluid because you can see it right on the screen if it's there. But today it was NOT there, YAY!
We don't know what caused it, and we don't know what caused it to go away, but it's gone now, and we're on again for Friday!
Oddly enough, my lining has thinned out since Saturday. It's now just over 9mm, compared to 11mm on Saturday. I haven't had a period, so I can't think of any way that could have happened.
I am starting to suspect that none of this in an exact science.
Oh yeah, my estrogen level was a whopping 331 today.
The only part still in motion is the embryology stuff, and I didn't get a call from them today to tell me how it's going. I am assuming that's a good sign and that nothing 'unusual' is going on. See how positive I can be? :)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Too many moving parts
If anyone can make this more complicated than it needs to be, it's me!
Yesterday we had an ultra sound and my lining looked good at 11mm. They like it to be 8-10mm, and I mentioned to the technician that last time my lining got too thick and we had to call off the transfer. She assured me that 11mm was still 'good'.
And then she spotted some fluid in my lining. She measured it from about 5 different angles and said it was only a tiny bit, but that fluid in the lining is a reason not to do a transfer. The nurse also confirmed it was only a tiny spot and it could disappear during the week. She would ask the doctor what he wanted to do about it.
I just love those 'go home and wait' days.
Later in the afternoon the nurse called back and said she wanted me to go ahead and start taking my shots and the other meds, and I need to go in for another ultra sound on Wednesday or Thursday to see what's happening with the fluid and make a final go or no-go decision then.
Further, they want my estrogen level to be >300 by now and mine was 76. So I have started taking estrogen pills while I continue using the patches as well, 2mg twice a day.
I am also starting Tetracycline (antibiotics) and Medrol (steroid).
We did the first progesterone shot this morning...not bad. Dr. Kelly has really gotten good at it! I have one more 'thing' to start tonight, and I am really excited about it, let me tell you.
All that to say, now the timing is off. They will start thawing our embryos tomorrow and growing them to reach day 5 by Friday, but what if, on Thursday, they tell me it's a no-go because of the fluid in my lining?
Why do I feel like I am going to have the 'I told you so' conversation with my doctor soon?
Yesterday we had an ultra sound and my lining looked good at 11mm. They like it to be 8-10mm, and I mentioned to the technician that last time my lining got too thick and we had to call off the transfer. She assured me that 11mm was still 'good'.
And then she spotted some fluid in my lining. She measured it from about 5 different angles and said it was only a tiny bit, but that fluid in the lining is a reason not to do a transfer. The nurse also confirmed it was only a tiny spot and it could disappear during the week. She would ask the doctor what he wanted to do about it.
I just love those 'go home and wait' days.
Later in the afternoon the nurse called back and said she wanted me to go ahead and start taking my shots and the other meds, and I need to go in for another ultra sound on Wednesday or Thursday to see what's happening with the fluid and make a final go or no-go decision then.
Further, they want my estrogen level to be >300 by now and mine was 76. So I have started taking estrogen pills while I continue using the patches as well, 2mg twice a day.
I am also starting Tetracycline (antibiotics) and Medrol (steroid).
We did the first progesterone shot this morning...not bad. Dr. Kelly has really gotten good at it! I have one more 'thing' to start tonight, and I am really excited about it, let me tell you.
All that to say, now the timing is off. They will start thawing our embryos tomorrow and growing them to reach day 5 by Friday, but what if, on Thursday, they tell me it's a no-go because of the fluid in my lining?
Why do I feel like I am going to have the 'I told you so' conversation with my doctor soon?
Friday, August 7, 2009
Isn't there a song about Patches?
Today I am wearing 3 iridescent, rectangle shaped patches, about 2 inches long and 1 inch wide each, on my right shoulder blade at the back. They actually take up less space than I imagined. I have been wearing the patches on my belly which, oddly enough, was less itchy and irritating than the back. I can't wait to get these off. Tomorrow I get to put on 4 patches, and then my dosage will change based on the results of my next ultra sound.
Tomorrow's ultra sound is the make it or break it point for this cycle. If I am all clear, assuming the embryos survive thawing and growing a few more days in the dish, then the FET is definitely happening.
I am not excited about starting shots again, especially not these 'fat' ones. We went in to sign some more consents on Monday and the nurse wanted to make sure I knew what to expect. She said these shots were going to hurt and that I would be on them for at least 6 weeks. Yay...
Monday they will thaw our 1 day old embryos. We have 7 of those. And on Tuesday they will thaw our 2 day old embryos. We have 5 of those. Then all 12 will grow together until they are 5 day old blastocysts by Friday. Day 5 is normally when, in a natural pregnancy, the embryo reaches the uterus and starts looking for a home.
We will have 'assisted hatching' which means they will nick the outer layer of the embryo to help it attach. Apparently, when you freeze an embryo the outer layer gets hard and that makes it difficult to implant. More sci-fi weirdness that I was not fully prepared for.
There should be an embryology report every day next week as they grade the quality and watch the embryos grow or (please don't let this happen) stop growing. This will be the hardest part of this whole process for me because, as far as I am concerned, each one of the embryos is a life that has been created, and if they stop growing (or die) at this stage......
Well, they are in an unnatural place, and I put them there intentionally, knowing it would not be the safest place for them and that not all of them would survive. I am not sure how I will react, but I will most surely have to face it next week.
Tomorrow's ultra sound is the make it or break it point for this cycle. If I am all clear, assuming the embryos survive thawing and growing a few more days in the dish, then the FET is definitely happening.
I am not excited about starting shots again, especially not these 'fat' ones. We went in to sign some more consents on Monday and the nurse wanted to make sure I knew what to expect. She said these shots were going to hurt and that I would be on them for at least 6 weeks. Yay...
Monday they will thaw our 1 day old embryos. We have 7 of those. And on Tuesday they will thaw our 2 day old embryos. We have 5 of those. Then all 12 will grow together until they are 5 day old blastocysts by Friday. Day 5 is normally when, in a natural pregnancy, the embryo reaches the uterus and starts looking for a home.
We will have 'assisted hatching' which means they will nick the outer layer of the embryo to help it attach. Apparently, when you freeze an embryo the outer layer gets hard and that makes it difficult to implant. More sci-fi weirdness that I was not fully prepared for.
There should be an embryology report every day next week as they grade the quality and watch the embryos grow or (please don't let this happen) stop growing. This will be the hardest part of this whole process for me because, as far as I am concerned, each one of the embryos is a life that has been created, and if they stop growing (or die) at this stage......
Well, they are in an unnatural place, and I put them there intentionally, knowing it would not be the safest place for them and that not all of them would survive. I am not sure how I will react, but I will most surely have to face it next week.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Act II
Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show will resume in approximately 2 minutes.
I finally started my period today, so I've started wearing my Vivelle "dot" patches and taking one baby aspirin a day. After one day of testing, I can tell you that a baby aspirin is not an effective treatment for cramps. Do you think anyone will notice if I pop 800mg of ibuprofen tonight, really?
I also got our FET (frozen embryo transfer) calendar from the nurse today. We're going with the original plan, the more aggressive, "I will probably regret this later", plan.
Basically, I wear one patch for 6 days. Well, I don't actually wear the same patch for 6 days, I change out the patch every other day. Then I wear 2 patches for 2 days, then 3 patches for 2 days, then 4 patches for 2 days.
After that (on my birthday) I start something totally disgusting that I am not sure I'm even going to tell you about. Trust me, you don't want to know.
That's also when I start taking the progesterone shots, the ones that are oil-based and have the fat needles. These shots apparently go on and on and on, maybe even throughout the whole pregnancy. Yay...
There are a couple more pills I will be taking during the last few days, antibiotics I think. And all of this leads us to the embryo transfer on August 14th. If my body doesn't respond to the drugs this might move out to August 18th. As long as it happens on the 14th my doctor will do the transfer, any other day and we will have another doctor for the procedure.
During the last 3-4 days before the transfer they'll thaw our embryos and grow them to be 5 days old on August 14th. We have 12 embryos and we're hoping a good number of them remain healthy and make it to day 5.
After the transfer I have to stay in bed for 3 days, and then we will go back in to do a pregnancy test 9 days after the transfer. It's no good doing a home pregnancy test, apparently, because they've pumped your body full of all the same hormones that make a pregnancy test come out positive, even if you're not really pregnant.
I'll be back in a couple of days to let you know how it's going.
I finally started my period today, so I've started wearing my Vivelle "dot" patches and taking one baby aspirin a day. After one day of testing, I can tell you that a baby aspirin is not an effective treatment for cramps. Do you think anyone will notice if I pop 800mg of ibuprofen tonight, really?
I also got our FET (frozen embryo transfer) calendar from the nurse today. We're going with the original plan, the more aggressive, "I will probably regret this later", plan.
Basically, I wear one patch for 6 days. Well, I don't actually wear the same patch for 6 days, I change out the patch every other day. Then I wear 2 patches for 2 days, then 3 patches for 2 days, then 4 patches for 2 days.
After that (on my birthday) I start something totally disgusting that I am not sure I'm even going to tell you about. Trust me, you don't want to know.
That's also when I start taking the progesterone shots, the ones that are oil-based and have the fat needles. These shots apparently go on and on and on, maybe even throughout the whole pregnancy. Yay...
There are a couple more pills I will be taking during the last few days, antibiotics I think. And all of this leads us to the embryo transfer on August 14th. If my body doesn't respond to the drugs this might move out to August 18th. As long as it happens on the 14th my doctor will do the transfer, any other day and we will have another doctor for the procedure.
During the last 3-4 days before the transfer they'll thaw our embryos and grow them to be 5 days old on August 14th. We have 12 embryos and we're hoping a good number of them remain healthy and make it to day 5.
After the transfer I have to stay in bed for 3 days, and then we will go back in to do a pregnancy test 9 days after the transfer. It's no good doing a home pregnancy test, apparently, because they've pumped your body full of all the same hormones that make a pregnancy test come out positive, even if you're not really pregnant.
I'll be back in a couple of days to let you know how it's going.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Everything BUT according to plan
It’s about time to start working on the “project” again. Actually, it’s past time. I should have started my period last Thursday and started wearing my estrogen patches, leading up to a transfer on August 11th.
So I called the nurse this morning to let her know I hadn’t started yet, and she proceeded to read over my calendar which had me starting birth control pills and Lupron shots and then having yet another period and THEN starting the patches leading up to a transfer in September! I told her she must have the wrong calendar, that I was starting patches immediately and my transfer was scheduled for August 11th. And she said “no, you are on the slower, more conservative calendar because of your history with endometriosis”.
Well, I lost the plot......as politely as I possibly could......and asked her to double check one more time because, as of Friday, we were still talking about my starting patches over the weekend.
She told me that even if I started patches this week, now that I am at least 5 days late with my period, that my transfer would be happening while my doctor is on vacation. And finally, she said she was very sorry, which helped A LOT.
That was in the morning, and I stewed all day long. I was getting depressed, thinking this is never going to happen, it’s just one thing after another. I was getting mad at the doctor for telling me one thing and then changing his mind…….and for taking a vacation. How dare he!
At about 5:30 this afternoon the nurse called me back and said “okay, you can go back to the original plan”. The doctor forgot that he had already told me I’d be on that protocol. In looking at everything today he would prefer I go the more conservative route, but I can move ahead with the original plan if I want to.
Of course, that doesn’t make me feel better because now I feel like, when it doesn’t work, I am going to be keenly aware that it was MY fault.
Today has not been a good day.
Oh, and if I don’t start my period by Thursday the doctor wants me to take a pregnancy test. Now wouldn’t that be ironic.
So I called the nurse this morning to let her know I hadn’t started yet, and she proceeded to read over my calendar which had me starting birth control pills and Lupron shots and then having yet another period and THEN starting the patches leading up to a transfer in September! I told her she must have the wrong calendar, that I was starting patches immediately and my transfer was scheduled for August 11th. And she said “no, you are on the slower, more conservative calendar because of your history with endometriosis”.
Well, I lost the plot......as politely as I possibly could......and asked her to double check one more time because, as of Friday, we were still talking about my starting patches over the weekend.
She told me that even if I started patches this week, now that I am at least 5 days late with my period, that my transfer would be happening while my doctor is on vacation. And finally, she said she was very sorry, which helped A LOT.
That was in the morning, and I stewed all day long. I was getting depressed, thinking this is never going to happen, it’s just one thing after another. I was getting mad at the doctor for telling me one thing and then changing his mind…….and for taking a vacation. How dare he!
At about 5:30 this afternoon the nurse called me back and said “okay, you can go back to the original plan”. The doctor forgot that he had already told me I’d be on that protocol. In looking at everything today he would prefer I go the more conservative route, but I can move ahead with the original plan if I want to.
Of course, that doesn’t make me feel better because now I feel like, when it doesn’t work, I am going to be keenly aware that it was MY fault.
Today has not been a good day.
Oh, and if I don’t start my period by Thursday the doctor wants me to take a pregnancy test. Now wouldn’t that be ironic.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Taking time off to detox
We had a regroup yesterday with our doctor, and the news was better than we thought.
I'll just take it sequentially. First of all, I did officially have OHSS. Apparently another girl that was cycling at the same time as me had it too, and I should feel lucky because she was hospitalized! So, although gaining 21 pounds sucked, I am definitely happy I didn't have to go into the hospital to be drained.
My estrogen level was 6440 and my lining was 16.5 the last time they measured. Apparently these aren't even "close" but are way over the ranges CCRM will work with, before they call off the cycle.
They retrieved 20 eggs. Only 18 were mature. And actually, 1 of the 18 was too far along, so we basically started with 17.
5 of the 17 fertilized abnormally which means that they had 1, 3 or 4 pro nuclei (PN) instead of 2. In a normal fertilization there are 2 PN (one from the egg and one from the sperm). These 5 were classified as 'chromosomally abnormal' and were discarded :(
Another 7 of the 17 fertilized normally (i.e. they saw 2 PN on day 1). Since there were only 7 at this point, they decided to freeze them immediately. The best day to freeze is day 5, but when you only have 7, it's a big risk to wait 5 days because many of them are likely to stop growing. And apparently freezing on day 1 is the 2nd best option if you can't wait until day 5. Oddly, freezing on day 3 has the worst results. So, while we were thinking that freezing them right away was the worst possible thing, we found out it really is the second best option.
The last 5 of the 17 never showed signs of fertilization, but they did start to cleave on day 2 so they were frozen on day 2 which is the 3rd best time to freeze, after day 5 (best) and day 1 (2nd best). Because these 5 made it to day 2 they were able to be graded. 3 of them are grade 4- (which is like an A- in school) and 2 of them are grade 3 (which is like a B).
So, what happens next?
Well, things go quiet for a while. Everyone is waiting for me to have a period, and then another period, and when that second period starts I'll go back on meds. This time I will be wearing estrogen patches for while and then taking progesterone in oil shots. Those will be the big needles that have to go into a muscle, and the nurse said it's not just a long needle but it's a fat one too because the oil is so thick. And they won't let me take a shot of whiskey before!
I'll be on the patches and shots for a couple of weeks (knowing me, longer). Then they'll thaw out the 7 embryos that are on day1 of their lives, and the next day they'll thaw the day 2 embryos so that all 12 will be the same age. All 12 will go on together to day 3 and we'll see if they look healthy or sluggish. We will still try to let them reach day 5 before transferring. This is different from what the embryologist originally told us. She said they usually have to transfer them right away if they are frozen on day 1.
It takes 30 seconds to freeze an embryo, and they can actually thaw and refreeze them with almost no impact on the overall success rate. So, after we reach day 5 (thinking positively here), and after they transfer 2, if there are some blasts left, they will refreeze them.
So, now we are taking a 5-6 week break. We're probably not going to post any updates unless we just happen to have something interesting to share. But we'll be back in August to pick up right where we left off.
XOXO,
Amy and Kelly
I'll just take it sequentially. First of all, I did officially have OHSS. Apparently another girl that was cycling at the same time as me had it too, and I should feel lucky because she was hospitalized! So, although gaining 21 pounds sucked, I am definitely happy I didn't have to go into the hospital to be drained.
My estrogen level was 6440 and my lining was 16.5 the last time they measured. Apparently these aren't even "close" but are way over the ranges CCRM will work with, before they call off the cycle.
They retrieved 20 eggs. Only 18 were mature. And actually, 1 of the 18 was too far along, so we basically started with 17.
5 of the 17 fertilized abnormally which means that they had 1, 3 or 4 pro nuclei (PN) instead of 2. In a normal fertilization there are 2 PN (one from the egg and one from the sperm). These 5 were classified as 'chromosomally abnormal' and were discarded :(
Another 7 of the 17 fertilized normally (i.e. they saw 2 PN on day 1). Since there were only 7 at this point, they decided to freeze them immediately. The best day to freeze is day 5, but when you only have 7, it's a big risk to wait 5 days because many of them are likely to stop growing. And apparently freezing on day 1 is the 2nd best option if you can't wait until day 5. Oddly, freezing on day 3 has the worst results. So, while we were thinking that freezing them right away was the worst possible thing, we found out it really is the second best option.
The last 5 of the 17 never showed signs of fertilization, but they did start to cleave on day 2 so they were frozen on day 2 which is the 3rd best time to freeze, after day 5 (best) and day 1 (2nd best). Because these 5 made it to day 2 they were able to be graded. 3 of them are grade 4- (which is like an A- in school) and 2 of them are grade 3 (which is like a B).
So, what happens next?
Well, things go quiet for a while. Everyone is waiting for me to have a period, and then another period, and when that second period starts I'll go back on meds. This time I will be wearing estrogen patches for while and then taking progesterone in oil shots. Those will be the big needles that have to go into a muscle, and the nurse said it's not just a long needle but it's a fat one too because the oil is so thick. And they won't let me take a shot of whiskey before!
I'll be on the patches and shots for a couple of weeks (knowing me, longer). Then they'll thaw out the 7 embryos that are on day1 of their lives, and the next day they'll thaw the day 2 embryos so that all 12 will be the same age. All 12 will go on together to day 3 and we'll see if they look healthy or sluggish. We will still try to let them reach day 5 before transferring. This is different from what the embryologist originally told us. She said they usually have to transfer them right away if they are frozen on day 1.
It takes 30 seconds to freeze an embryo, and they can actually thaw and refreeze them with almost no impact on the overall success rate. So, after we reach day 5 (thinking positively here), and after they transfer 2, if there are some blasts left, they will refreeze them.
So, now we are taking a 5-6 week break. We're probably not going to post any updates unless we just happen to have something interesting to share. But we'll be back in August to pick up right where we left off.
XOXO,
Amy and Kelly
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Waiting for my 'water' to break
How could I have failed to mention that I gained 21 pounds between Wednesday and Saturday last week?! That was certainly the 'biggest' thing on my mind, I can't believe I didn't bring it up. Anyway, I went in for an ultra sound yesterday, and they made sure I wasn't retaining fluid around my kidneys or liver or spleen, and I am not. It's only really around my uterus and ovaries.
I am still on the Ganirelix shots to help with that, and I always notice a big difference about 3 hours after I take the shot. I have also been up no less than 5 times every night to use the bathroom.
This morning I weighed myself, and I am down 9 pounds from Saturday, so that means the grand total weight gain (I am assuming water weight) is still 12 pounds. I really don't understand how the salty diet is supposed to help with this problem, but I am sticking to it.
I forgot to start taking my Tetracycline after the retrieval. I was confused about what to do with my post-retrieval meds since the original instructions were given when we planned on doing the transfer right away. Duh, I should have known I would still need to take the antibiotics after the retrieval. I started them on Monday night.
Yesterday's blood work showed that my calcium level is low and I am to take 3000mg of calcium (Tums antacids) every day for the rest of the week. Yuck. Also, my H&H levels are low, but I don't really know what that means, what causes it, or what I should do about it.
I have nearly reached information overload, I think. I am starting to get things mixed up.
One more thing that showed up in my blood work yesterday, and surely this is a joke, is that my sodium level is low in spite of all the salt I am eating. You've got to be kidding me!
I am still on the Ganirelix shots to help with that, and I always notice a big difference about 3 hours after I take the shot. I have also been up no less than 5 times every night to use the bathroom.
This morning I weighed myself, and I am down 9 pounds from Saturday, so that means the grand total weight gain (I am assuming water weight) is still 12 pounds. I really don't understand how the salty diet is supposed to help with this problem, but I am sticking to it.
I forgot to start taking my Tetracycline after the retrieval. I was confused about what to do with my post-retrieval meds since the original instructions were given when we planned on doing the transfer right away. Duh, I should have known I would still need to take the antibiotics after the retrieval. I started them on Monday night.
Yesterday's blood work showed that my calcium level is low and I am to take 3000mg of calcium (Tums antacids) every day for the rest of the week. Yuck. Also, my H&H levels are low, but I don't really know what that means, what causes it, or what I should do about it.
I have nearly reached information overload, I think. I am starting to get things mixed up.
One more thing that showed up in my blood work yesterday, and surely this is a joke, is that my sodium level is low in spite of all the salt I am eating. You've got to be kidding me!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Embryology report
We got the embryology report this morning.
Of the 20 eggs they retrieved, 18 were mature enough to go through ICSI. ICSI is where they inject a single sperm into a single egg; as opposed to just letting them all swim around together hoping they find each other.
Of the 18, only 7 fertilized. Usually 70-80% fertilize, so this is considered 'lower than normal'. And because of the low rate of fertilization they will be freezing them all immediately, on day 1, instead of waiting until day 3 (usually the minimum) or day 5 (preferred).
Today they are at the day 1, '2PN stage'. And usually when you have to freeze at the 2PN stage, after you thaw them, you go ahead and transfer them the next day, which would be their day 2. It's much more typical to do the transfer on day 3, and preferable if you can transfer blastocysts on day 5 which is about the time they'd usually be entering the uterus out of the fallopian tubes in a natural pregnancy.
Overall, they are considered 'at risk' at this point. That basically means we will transfer them earlier in their life cycle than usual and will probably transfer more eggs at once.
There were 5 more eggs than had not yet shown signs of fertilization as of this morning, so they are going to observe those until tomorrow to see if they do eventually fertilize, and if so, they will freeze them for backup.
Now we know for sure that we won't be able to donate extra embryos to another couple as I had hoped. This is because we have to donate at least 6 to give them multiple chances for pregnancy. And since we only have 7 to begin with, it's not going to be an option.
But on the bright side, it looks like they're going to let the embryos decide whether to live or die inside me for the most part, instead of in the dish, which actually makes me very happy. One of the biggest problems I have had with this whole process is creating all these embryos only to let them die in the dish. So, in a roundabout way, this is a blessing!
Of the 20 eggs they retrieved, 18 were mature enough to go through ICSI. ICSI is where they inject a single sperm into a single egg; as opposed to just letting them all swim around together hoping they find each other.
Of the 18, only 7 fertilized. Usually 70-80% fertilize, so this is considered 'lower than normal'. And because of the low rate of fertilization they will be freezing them all immediately, on day 1, instead of waiting until day 3 (usually the minimum) or day 5 (preferred).
Today they are at the day 1, '2PN stage'. And usually when you have to freeze at the 2PN stage, after you thaw them, you go ahead and transfer them the next day, which would be their day 2. It's much more typical to do the transfer on day 3, and preferable if you can transfer blastocysts on day 5 which is about the time they'd usually be entering the uterus out of the fallopian tubes in a natural pregnancy.
Overall, they are considered 'at risk' at this point. That basically means we will transfer them earlier in their life cycle than usual and will probably transfer more eggs at once.
There were 5 more eggs than had not yet shown signs of fertilization as of this morning, so they are going to observe those until tomorrow to see if they do eventually fertilize, and if so, they will freeze them for backup.
Now we know for sure that we won't be able to donate extra embryos to another couple as I had hoped. This is because we have to donate at least 6 to give them multiple chances for pregnancy. And since we only have 7 to begin with, it's not going to be an option.
But on the bright side, it looks like they're going to let the embryos decide whether to live or die inside me for the most part, instead of in the dish, which actually makes me very happy. One of the biggest problems I have had with this whole process is creating all these embryos only to let them die in the dish. So, in a roundabout way, this is a blessing!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Ready Set Extract!
We made it through the first step!
We arrived at the hospital this morning at 8:45. They had reserved a special place for us to park in the underground garage and we took the elevator up to the floor where the surgeries are performed. Pretty special.
Amy went in first to get prepped. Three sticks to get a good IV started...pretty traumatic! They didn't let me go in until after she had stopped crying and calmed down. I'll have to admit, hearing about the difficult time getting the IV started made me a little nervous (I was next).
Was not long before they pulled me out of Amy's prep room and gave me my own. Had to put on one of those gorgeous matching gowns with the air conditioning in the back.
Sure enough, it took three sticks for my IV as well. They said the dehydration is what makes the IV hard to get going. Not fun......
While I was getting ready, Amy headed back for the egg extraction procedure.
When I met the Dr......it made me feel a little better....really cool Dr. (cowboy) Horn. Good bedside mannerisms...explained the procedure and made me feel comfortable.
The anesthesiologist shot something into my IV....and that was all it took...I was out within 5 seconds and did not wake up until I was in recovery. Don't even remember being wheeled out of the prep room or moving myself onto the surgery table in the OR.
Amy was finished before I was and there with me right after I woke up. Good news on both the extractions. We will get a call tomorrow with the specifics around the results, but indications were that Amy was able to lay 20 eggs.....a lot more that we thought.....and we struck gold with my stuff as well (only on the left side, but should be plenty).
Nurse Ann was there with us all morning.....and the best neighbors in the universe picked us up and drove us home. They went to get my Percocet at Walgreen's.....and paid for it....$0.35!
Been recouping all afternoon. I've got some pretty good pain drugs and an ice bag, so not in too much pain.......Amy is only allowed to take Tylenol but she's doing well as well....
Nurse Jo and Nurse Ann have gone out to get us some dinner. Amy is still supposed to eat as much salt as she can and is still taking Ganirelix shots for 3 more days to control the fluid.
More tomorrow!
We arrived at the hospital this morning at 8:45. They had reserved a special place for us to park in the underground garage and we took the elevator up to the floor where the surgeries are performed. Pretty special.
Amy went in first to get prepped. Three sticks to get a good IV started...pretty traumatic! They didn't let me go in until after she had stopped crying and calmed down. I'll have to admit, hearing about the difficult time getting the IV started made me a little nervous (I was next).
Was not long before they pulled me out of Amy's prep room and gave me my own. Had to put on one of those gorgeous matching gowns with the air conditioning in the back.
Sure enough, it took three sticks for my IV as well. They said the dehydration is what makes the IV hard to get going. Not fun......
While I was getting ready, Amy headed back for the egg extraction procedure.
When I met the Dr......it made me feel a little better....really cool Dr. (cowboy) Horn. Good bedside mannerisms...explained the procedure and made me feel comfortable.
The anesthesiologist shot something into my IV....and that was all it took...I was out within 5 seconds and did not wake up until I was in recovery. Don't even remember being wheeled out of the prep room or moving myself onto the surgery table in the OR.
Amy was finished before I was and there with me right after I woke up. Good news on both the extractions. We will get a call tomorrow with the specifics around the results, but indications were that Amy was able to lay 20 eggs.....a lot more that we thought.....and we struck gold with my stuff as well (only on the left side, but should be plenty).
Nurse Ann was there with us all morning.....and the best neighbors in the universe picked us up and drove us home. They went to get my Percocet at Walgreen's.....and paid for it....$0.35!
Been recouping all afternoon. I've got some pretty good pain drugs and an ice bag, so not in too much pain.......Amy is only allowed to take Tylenol but she's doing well as well....
Nurse Jo and Nurse Ann have gone out to get us some dinner. Amy is still supposed to eat as much salt as she can and is still taking Ganirelix shots for 3 more days to control the fluid.
More tomorrow!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Twas the night before.....
Today has been icky. I can't wait to lay these eggs! Ha
I had bloodwork done this morning to make sure we had done the trigger shot correctly. The trigger shot has a longer needle than the others and had to go into a muscle. The rest were only subcutaneous shots.
My bumm is still sore so I was assuming we did it correctly anyway, but the bloodwork confirmed it. It also confirmed my estrogen level is 'REALLY high', according to the nurse. She called to make sure I was feeling okay because my level was so high. I asked her what my symptoms were supposed to be, and she said the bloating was probably very uncomfortable (duh) and that I was probably quite irritable (you think?).
I couldn't sleep last night because it hurts to lay on either side. My ovaries feel like they're being stabbed. And my bumm was too sore to sleep on my back. And when I tried laying on my stomach my nose started running.
Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.
And if I never drink another Gatorade in my life it will be too soon!
I had bloodwork done this morning to make sure we had done the trigger shot correctly. The trigger shot has a longer needle than the others and had to go into a muscle. The rest were only subcutaneous shots.
My bumm is still sore so I was assuming we did it correctly anyway, but the bloodwork confirmed it. It also confirmed my estrogen level is 'REALLY high', according to the nurse. She called to make sure I was feeling okay because my level was so high. I asked her what my symptoms were supposed to be, and she said the bloating was probably very uncomfortable (duh) and that I was probably quite irritable (you think?).
I couldn't sleep last night because it hurts to lay on either side. My ovaries feel like they're being stabbed. And my bumm was too sore to sleep on my back. And when I tried laying on my stomach my nose started running.
Tomorrow morning can't come soon enough.
And if I never drink another Gatorade in my life it will be too soon!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Big Chill
Well, it's decided. We will have to do a 'freeze all'.
This morning in the ultra-sound they found fluid accumulating in my ovaries (or maybe the uterus, not sure which), and my lining is still too thick. Also, the bloodwork showed that my estrogen level has gotten too high.
I am stopping all my shots except for 2 special shots I have to take tonight. One is called Ganirelix and the other is my trigger shot, called Novarel. We will do the trigger shot tonight at 10:45 pm and then go in for the retrieval at 8:45 am on Saturday morning.
They'll retrieve the eggs, fertilize them, and then freeze the embryos.
Apparently it can take as little as 3 weeks to get my body ready for another transfer. We'll find out more when we meet with the doctor on Monday for a 're-group'.
Bummer....
This morning in the ultra-sound they found fluid accumulating in my ovaries (or maybe the uterus, not sure which), and my lining is still too thick. Also, the bloodwork showed that my estrogen level has gotten too high.
I am stopping all my shots except for 2 special shots I have to take tonight. One is called Ganirelix and the other is my trigger shot, called Novarel. We will do the trigger shot tonight at 10:45 pm and then go in for the retrieval at 8:45 am on Saturday morning.
They'll retrieve the eggs, fertilize them, and then freeze the embryos.
Apparently it can take as little as 3 weeks to get my body ready for another transfer. We'll find out more when we meet with the doctor on Monday for a 're-group'.
Bummer....
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
70/30
Yesterday afternoon the nurse called to tell me that my lining is getting too thick again and that there's a 70% chance we're going to have to do a freeze-all. That means they would go ahead with the retrieval as planned, and the fertilization, but they would freeze the embryos instead of transferring them this month, and I would come back later (I'm assuming next month) for the transfer.
That said, she noted that my lining had not thickened between Sunday and Tuesday, so they will continue to watch it. This morning when I went in for an ultra-sound they measured the lining at 1.63 cm (compared to 1.6 yesterday and Sunday).
They reduced my Follisitm down to 75 units and my Menopur down to just one powder, and everything else is the same. I am just waiting to see what she has to say today when she calls me back with the blood results.
Our chances of getting pregnant with frozen embryos is significantly lower than with fresh ones. According to CCRM's success rates from the past few years, our chances of a live birth would go down from 62% to 48% for my age group.
Speaking of which, I don't really know which age group I should be looking at. It breaks at 35 and I am turning 35 in 2 months. The bad news is that, for fresh embryos, the probability of success drops when I move into the 35-37 year old age bracket. The good news is that, for frozen embryos, the probability of success actually increases! Imagine that. Either way, it's still going to be lower if we have to use frozen embryos.
That said, she noted that my lining had not thickened between Sunday and Tuesday, so they will continue to watch it. This morning when I went in for an ultra-sound they measured the lining at 1.63 cm (compared to 1.6 yesterday and Sunday).
They reduced my Follisitm down to 75 units and my Menopur down to just one powder, and everything else is the same. I am just waiting to see what she has to say today when she calls me back with the blood results.
Our chances of getting pregnant with frozen embryos is significantly lower than with fresh ones. According to CCRM's success rates from the past few years, our chances of a live birth would go down from 62% to 48% for my age group.
Speaking of which, I don't really know which age group I should be looking at. It breaks at 35 and I am turning 35 in 2 months. The bad news is that, for fresh embryos, the probability of success drops when I move into the 35-37 year old age bracket. The good news is that, for frozen embryos, the probability of success actually increases! Imagine that. Either way, it's still going to be lower if we have to use frozen embryos.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Day 10 and counting
This morning they checked again and it looks like all my follicles in the right ovary are over 1.0 cm now, so that's good. There's even one in there that is 1.96 cm so it's ready to go! The rule is that they will wait until at least half of them are between 1.8 and 2.0 cm before they trigger me. It's now looking like the retrieval is going to be on Saturday or Sunday.
Kelly's doctor has to leave town on an unplanned trip this weekend, so he will not be able to do Kelly's retrieval, but his partner will do it instead. Also, my doctor is not working this weekend, so I will have one of the others from CCRM doing my retrieval. Should we be worried?
My nurse said I needed to eat even more salty foods (she recommends Chinese) and drink even more salty fluids (she recommends Gatorade). She said if I wasn't going to the bathroom every hour then I am not drinking enough.
I finally can feel what's going on inside me now. Every time I sit down it feels like there is something inside me stabbing at my ovaries. It only happens when I sit and goes away almost immediately after I get situated. I am also starting to get bloated, which is the thing everyone said is the worst part of this whole process. Apparently it gets even worse in the 2 weeks after the retrieval. Yipee!
Oh, and a terrible thing happened today at the doctor's office. The first place she poked me to take my blood "didn't cooperate" so she had to poke me again! Horror of horrors!
Kelly's doctor has to leave town on an unplanned trip this weekend, so he will not be able to do Kelly's retrieval, but his partner will do it instead. Also, my doctor is not working this weekend, so I will have one of the others from CCRM doing my retrieval. Should we be worried?
My nurse said I needed to eat even more salty foods (she recommends Chinese) and drink even more salty fluids (she recommends Gatorade). She said if I wasn't going to the bathroom every hour then I am not drinking enough.
I finally can feel what's going on inside me now. Every time I sit down it feels like there is something inside me stabbing at my ovaries. It only happens when I sit and goes away almost immediately after I get situated. I am also starting to get bloated, which is the thing everyone said is the worst part of this whole process. Apparently it gets even worse in the 2 weeks after the retrieval. Yipee!
Oh, and a terrible thing happened today at the doctor's office. The first place she poked me to take my blood "didn't cooperate" so she had to poke me again! Horror of horrors!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Type B personalities
Two more days have passed and my follicles are still growing very slowly. At this morning's appointment the nurse said 'you're definitely not making Type A babies in there.'
The right ovary is showing some follicle growth, but the left, not so much. The nurse referred to the left as the 'cheering section' and said they weren't doing much of anything over there. I'll take the trigger shot when most of the follicles reach 1.8-2.0 cm (and the retrieval will be 36 hours later), but only about half of mine are over 1.0 cm at this point.
It's day 8 of the stimulation process, and under the original plan I would be triggered Monday night and we would retrieve on Wednesday. Considering that they cancelled my appointment altogether for Monday and said come back for another ultra-sound and bloodwork on Tuesday, I am assuming we're not retrieving on Wednesday and maybe not even on Thursday.
The nurse assured me there is no time limitation, we'll just keep going until they're ready. They did reduce my Follistim down to 150 units starting tonight. That doesn't really make sense to me if that is what makes the follicles grow, but I'm not the doctor, obviously.
The right ovary is showing some follicle growth, but the left, not so much. The nurse referred to the left as the 'cheering section' and said they weren't doing much of anything over there. I'll take the trigger shot when most of the follicles reach 1.8-2.0 cm (and the retrieval will be 36 hours later), but only about half of mine are over 1.0 cm at this point.
It's day 8 of the stimulation process, and under the original plan I would be triggered Monday night and we would retrieve on Wednesday. Considering that they cancelled my appointment altogether for Monday and said come back for another ultra-sound and bloodwork on Tuesday, I am assuming we're not retrieving on Wednesday and maybe not even on Thursday.
The nurse assured me there is no time limitation, we'll just keep going until they're ready. They did reduce my Follistim down to 150 units starting tonight. That doesn't really make sense to me if that is what makes the follicles grow, but I'm not the doctor, obviously.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Slow but sure
Not much growth in my follicles since Wednesday's measurement. There was a little bit, but just not as much as they expected to see. That said, they didn't increase the dosage of any of my medications, so they must not be too bothered. The nurse said it might mean, if I continue to respond slowly, that our retrieval gets moved out to next Thursday or Friday. This is not the first time I have been called a pokey turtle.
On the bright side, we get to skip driving down to south Denver tomorrow morning for another checkup. We were supposed to go in on Saturday and Sunday, but now we just have to go on Sunday. It takes about 45 minutes to get to the CCRM facility in south Denver, and they only see patients on the weekend between 7 and 9 am.
The nurse also reminded me that I am supposed to be eating a lot of salty foods during this process. It seems like someone told me that at some point, and that I wrote it down somewhere, but I had forgotten. She said live it up because this is the only time in your life a doctor is going to tell you to eat more sodium!
Nurse Ann went to Target and got me some Gatorade because it has loads of sodium. Quite unhealthy, really. Also, in honor of national donut day, she brought back cream puff pastries that were made in the shape of a swan. Since that's not technically a donut, I think I qualify for having one tomorrow. Donuts are currently banned from my diet, but I think having just one in honor of national donut day is allowable, don't you?
On the bright side, we get to skip driving down to south Denver tomorrow morning for another checkup. We were supposed to go in on Saturday and Sunday, but now we just have to go on Sunday. It takes about 45 minutes to get to the CCRM facility in south Denver, and they only see patients on the weekend between 7 and 9 am.
The nurse also reminded me that I am supposed to be eating a lot of salty foods during this process. It seems like someone told me that at some point, and that I wrote it down somewhere, but I had forgotten. She said live it up because this is the only time in your life a doctor is going to tell you to eat more sodium!
Nurse Ann went to Target and got me some Gatorade because it has loads of sodium. Quite unhealthy, really. Also, in honor of national donut day, she brought back cream puff pastries that were made in the shape of a swan. Since that's not technically a donut, I think I qualify for having one tomorrow. Donuts are currently banned from my diet, but I think having just one in honor of national donut day is allowable, don't you?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
TMI
Not much has changed in the way I feel during this whole process. I occasionally have a small cramp-like pain in my belly, but not even as much as my normal menstral cramps. I was expecting to be bloated, and I am not. I was expecting to be irritable, and I am not. I don't think I am, that is.
The only thing I have finally noticed is that....you know how you "know" when you're ovulating every month? And that's when only one egg is being released. Well, imagine that times 10 (for the 10 eggs that are getting ready to release in me). That "symptom" you have that lets you know you're ovulating, I have that x10. Gross, I know, but it's the only real impact I have seen from the stimulation meds at all. I am amazed.
We did tonight's Follistim pen shot way in the upper thigh, almost to the crease in my leg, and a little bit on the inside of the thigh as opposed to the outside area. Note to self: bad place for a shot! It still hurts....almost like we hit a nerve or something. You know that shooting pain you get with a pinched nerve? Like that.
I've got another check-up tomorrow at the doctor's office. All my appointments are around 7:00 am - ugh! We're still tracking toward next Wednesday for the retrieval. I can't believe it's getting so close.
The only thing I have finally noticed is that....you know how you "know" when you're ovulating every month? And that's when only one egg is being released. Well, imagine that times 10 (for the 10 eggs that are getting ready to release in me). That "symptom" you have that lets you know you're ovulating, I have that x10. Gross, I know, but it's the only real impact I have seen from the stimulation meds at all. I am amazed.
We did tonight's Follistim pen shot way in the upper thigh, almost to the crease in my leg, and a little bit on the inside of the thigh as opposed to the outside area. Note to self: bad place for a shot! It still hurts....almost like we hit a nerve or something. You know that shooting pain you get with a pinched nerve? Like that.
I've got another check-up tomorrow at the doctor's office. All my appointments are around 7:00 am - ugh! We're still tracking toward next Wednesday for the retrieval. I can't believe it's getting so close.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
And then there were 10
I went in for another ultra-sound and bloodwork this morning. We skip tomorrow, and then I start going in every day as we near the retrieval date. Everything looked good this morning. The only thing that was a little disappointing was seeing that only 4 follicles were stimming on the left and 6 on the right. In some recent ultra-sounds they were able to count 6 on the left and 8 on the right, so I was hoping for more. But 10 is still a good number, and hopefully they will be able to retrieve 10 eggs next week.
I am actually thankful that I don't have "too many" follicles. I have heard that women with too many follicles find this process very painful and there are some risks that I basically don't have to worry about. Keeping a positive attitude :)
Nurse Jo was stellar on the needles tonight. She's got the Follistim pen down to a science.
I am actually thankful that I don't have "too many" follicles. I have heard that women with too many follicles find this process very painful and there are some risks that I basically don't have to worry about. Keeping a positive attitude :)
Nurse Jo was stellar on the needles tonight. She's got the Follistim pen down to a science.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What's your drug of choice?
You might have guessed that we got good results from the follow-up ultra-sound on Sunday, yay! Although the cyst on my right ovary is 2.2 cm (which sounds big to me), the second ultra-sound made them even more sure it's just endometriosis. The lining of my uterus had also thinned down to 5mm.
My new shots are Menopur (2 powders plus 1cc of dilutent) in the morning and Follistim (300 units) at night.
The Menopur shot is the most painful because the medicine burns when it goes in. I am taking that shot in the belly since that is the least painful place to get poked and it's the most painful shot. For the 2 evening shots I take one in each leg. I am also still taking Dexamethasone, so I am on 4 meds in total now, plus the prenatal vitamins which, I found out, make me nauseous if I don't eat enough food with them!
My next appointment is on Wednesday to see how we're progressing.
My new shots are Menopur (2 powders plus 1cc of dilutent) in the morning and Follistim (300 units) at night.
The Menopur shot is the most painful because the medicine burns when it goes in. I am taking that shot in the belly since that is the least painful place to get poked and it's the most painful shot. For the 2 evening shots I take one in each leg. I am also still taking Dexamethasone, so I am on 4 meds in total now, plus the prenatal vitamins which, I found out, make me nauseous if I don't eat enough food with them!
My next appointment is on Wednesday to see how we're progressing.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Leaving things in capable hands....
Well......I gave my last round of shots until Thursday. I am heading back to Arkansas for a business trip tomorrow and back on Thursday. I'm going to miss giving my favorite patient her shots three times daily... :)
Nurse Jo is on the case though. She actually has a nursing background and is more than capable to administer the shots while I am away. THANK YOU Nurse Jo!!!!
Nurse Jo is on the case though. She actually has a nursing background and is more than capable to administer the shots while I am away. THANK YOU Nurse Jo!!!!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
What happens next?
Kelly taught me how to measure out the medicine tonight so I will be able to help Nurse Jo while he's out of town next week. I still can't poke myself, though. It's bad enough preparing a needle for yourself. I don't know how junkies do it!
Tomorrow morning we go in for another ultra-sound at 8am to see if the lining of my uterus has thinned out enough to proceed. If it looks good then we will be ready to start 2 new shots every day. If not, then the party is over for now, but we can try again next month.
I have been taking pre-natal vitamins for 2 days now. Aren't those supposed to make me feel exceptionally good or is that just a rumour?
Tomorrow morning we go in for another ultra-sound at 8am to see if the lining of my uterus has thinned out enough to proceed. If it looks good then we will be ready to start 2 new shots every day. If not, then the party is over for now, but we can try again next month.
I have been taking pre-natal vitamins for 2 days now. Aren't those supposed to make me feel exceptionally good or is that just a rumour?
Friday, May 29, 2009
Complications
Nurse Jo was in charge of the shot tonight. Nurse Ann was in charge of fanning Nurse Jo while she did it so she wouldn't have a hot flash. Kelly was in charge of photos.
I hardly noticed the shot, we were laughing so hard.
This morning I went in for blood work and an ultrasound, and they found a new cyst on my right ovary. They told me it could be an endo-lesian, which wouldn't be a show stopper, or it could be something else. They needed to consult the doctor to see what he thought.
Further, the lining in my uterus was too thick - it's 10mm and they would like for it to be 5mm or less. I had no idea that things could come to a grinding halt so quickly and so easily. Not a good morning.
This afternoon the nurse called me back and said the blood work looked really good and the doctor thought the cyst looked more like an endo-lesian than anything else. But the lining is still a problem. I have to go in on Sunday morning for another ultrasound to see if it has thinned out enough to proceed.
I have never prayed for a heavy period before tonight.
I hardly noticed the shot, we were laughing so hard.
This morning I went in for blood work and an ultrasound, and they found a new cyst on my right ovary. They told me it could be an endo-lesian, which wouldn't be a show stopper, or it could be something else. They needed to consult the doctor to see what he thought.
Further, the lining in my uterus was too thick - it's 10mm and they would like for it to be 5mm or less. I had no idea that things could come to a grinding halt so quickly and so easily. Not a good morning.
This afternoon the nurse called me back and said the blood work looked really good and the doctor thought the cyst looked more like an endo-lesian than anything else. But the lining is still a problem. I have to go in on Sunday morning for another ultrasound to see if it has thinned out enough to proceed.
I have never prayed for a heavy period before tonight.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I can pinch and inch
The nurses have identified another inconsistency with the instruction manual. Before each shot I have been pinching up the area of skin around where I'm about to get poked and holding it while Kelly does the shot. Apparently, I am supposed to pinch it, but as soon as Kelly gets the needle in I am supposed to release it, and then he can inject the medication. Details.....
So tonight I told him to say 'ok' when he was ready for me to release my pinch, which he did. But what he didn't do is stay with it while the skin retracted, and the needle popped out before he could give me the injection. We had to do the shot AGAIN, yes, TWICE!
Kelly is fired.
So tonight I told him to say 'ok' when he was ready for me to release my pinch, which he did. But what he didn't do is stay with it while the skin retracted, and the needle popped out before he could give me the injection. We had to do the shot AGAIN, yes, TWICE!
Kelly is fired.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Winds of War
The back-up nurses have arrived! That would be my mom and grandma. They said they would prefer to be called the Winds of War. Apparently you only get that if you watch Regis and Kelly. My grandma is friends with Kelly Ripa and her husband on Facebook and frequently makes and receives comments with the both of them. Die-hard All My Children fan.....
My grandma immediately spotted in the instruction manual that I am supposed to be taking pre-natal vitamins, at least 1mg of folic acid every day. I guess my nurse thought that was an obvious one, and I guess I thought she would tell me if I needed to take anything else. I am assuming I can get those over the counter tomorrow. I may send the nurses out on their first independent outing.
The nurses have also managed to go around our kitchen and tighten all the loose knobs on the drawers. Thank goodness! They arrived just in time.
My grandma immediately spotted in the instruction manual that I am supposed to be taking pre-natal vitamins, at least 1mg of folic acid every day. I guess my nurse thought that was an obvious one, and I guess I thought she would tell me if I needed to take anything else. I am assuming I can get those over the counter tomorrow. I may send the nurses out on their first independent outing.
The nurses have also managed to go around our kitchen and tighten all the loose knobs on the drawers. Thank goodness! They arrived just in time.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Side effects
I think my meds are making me lose weight. I never feel hungry anymore. I've not only lost my vacation weight, but I have also lost 3 additional pounds, and it's only been a week. I am not complaining, by the way. I wonder if it's the meds or if it has anything to do with the fact that I ate a whole month's worth of food the week of the cruise and my body is simply protesting.
Tonight we tried doing the shot in the belly and it was the best ever! I thought Kelly was going to hurl, but for me it was the best one yet. I didn't even feel it go in. I made him show me the empty syringe to prove he actually did it. He immediately had to go sit down on the couch because it made him light-headed. That's the first time he's had any trouble giving me the shot.
The back-up nurses arrive tomrrow. I am so excited!
Tonight we tried doing the shot in the belly and it was the best ever! I thought Kelly was going to hurl, but for me it was the best one yet. I didn't even feel it go in. I made him show me the empty syringe to prove he actually did it. He immediately had to go sit down on the couch because it made him light-headed. That's the first time he's had any trouble giving me the shot.
The back-up nurses arrive tomrrow. I am so excited!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Oops....almost
Almost left the house for choir practice without giving Amy her shot! I had already started backing down the driveway when.......I saw Amy come running out of the house...and it hit me.....almost forgot!
I came back into the house and gave her a quicky......
:)
I came back into the house and gave her a quicky......
:)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
It takes a village
Tonight we had our lovely neighbors, Helen and Chris, over for dinner. While we were chatting at the table after dinner I suddenly realized we were 40 minutes late with the shot. We decided to make it a group effort. Seems everyone wants to help "conceive" this baby, LOL.
Kelly showed Helen how to prepare everything and then she did the actual puncture. I must say, for a first timer she was great! Now we have a backup "nurse" right across the street in case we need one.
On another note, we ate some of the salmon that Kelly caught while we were in Alaska, and it was yummy! He grilled it on a cedar plank and topped it with an Asian glaze (ginger, maple syrup, lime, garlic, red pepper). Definitely going on the menu when we open our restaurant!
Kelly showed Helen how to prepare everything and then she did the actual puncture. I must say, for a first timer she was great! Now we have a backup "nurse" right across the street in case we need one.
On another note, we ate some of the salmon that Kelly caught while we were in Alaska, and it was yummy! He grilled it on a cedar plank and topped it with an Asian glaze (ginger, maple syrup, lime, garlic, red pepper). Definitely going on the menu when we open our restaurant!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Left, left, left, right, left
We've been switching back and forth between my left leg and my right leg for the shots, and because Kelly has gotten so much better at it, it's hard to see where he did the later ones. The first one is still bruised, so it's obvious where that one went. And there is still a big red dot where he did the second one. Otherwise, I can't see anything left of shots 3 and 4.
It just dawned on me that we might run out of room! The thought of poking my leg in the same spot twice makes me dizzy just thinking about it. But I can't really see where any of the shots have been except numbers 1 and 2. So when I tried to find a "new" spot for tonight's shot I sort of felt like we had nowhere else to go. The problem is compounded, of course, by the extensive network of bright blue veins in my leg. The thought of putting the shot into one of them.......ok, I've got to stop talking about this.
I guess I am going to have to start marking myself with a Sharpie as a reminder.
We ended up doing the shot mid-thigh in a vein-free spot, but there was a little pool of medicine that seeped out. I was freaking out, but Kelly said the nurse told us that might happen and don't worry about it. I told him I didn't hear her say that, and he asked if I wanted him to give me another shot? I guess she DID say it after all :)
It just dawned on me that we might run out of room! The thought of poking my leg in the same spot twice makes me dizzy just thinking about it. But I can't really see where any of the shots have been except numbers 1 and 2. So when I tried to find a "new" spot for tonight's shot I sort of felt like we had nowhere else to go. The problem is compounded, of course, by the extensive network of bright blue veins in my leg. The thought of putting the shot into one of them.......ok, I've got to stop talking about this.
I guess I am going to have to start marking myself with a Sharpie as a reminder.
We ended up doing the shot mid-thigh in a vein-free spot, but there was a little pool of medicine that seeped out. I was freaking out, but Kelly said the nurse told us that might happen and don't worry about it. I told him I didn't hear her say that, and he asked if I wanted him to give me another shot? I guess she DID say it after all :)
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Fast and the Furious
I think we have found the magic formula for a painless shot. It's being in a rush!
Kelly got home a little late from work, and we had plans to go to dinner and see a movie, so we were in a big hurry to do the shot. Vile out, clean the top with an alcohol swab, needle out, draw 10 units, alcohol swab on the leg and POKE. Done and dusted in 30 seconds flat.
Amazingly enough it was the easiest one we've done yet, and I can't even see the spot anymore on my leg a few hours later. Meanwhile the bruise from Tuesday is still there reminding us how NOT to do it.
Star Trek was great, by the way. Kelly gave it 5 stars out of 5, something he previously told me he could never give any movie until he was on his death bed and had seen them all so that he could award that top spot to the truly deserving "best" movie. I think he liked it.
Kelly got home a little late from work, and we had plans to go to dinner and see a movie, so we were in a big hurry to do the shot. Vile out, clean the top with an alcohol swab, needle out, draw 10 units, alcohol swab on the leg and POKE. Done and dusted in 30 seconds flat.
Amazingly enough it was the easiest one we've done yet, and I can't even see the spot anymore on my leg a few hours later. Meanwhile the bruise from Tuesday is still there reminding us how NOT to do it.
Star Trek was great, by the way. Kelly gave it 5 stars out of 5, something he previously told me he could never give any movie until he was on his death bed and had seen them all so that he could award that top spot to the truly deserving "best" movie. I think he liked it.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Ouch!
Ouch.......another shot today..no blood..no bruise....but was not as painless as yesterday....we think it's because we did the shot lower in the leg....will try again tomorrow......
I think I like being a doctor......
Finally worked through the baby budget today.......timing is critical between when we have to pay the doctor bills versus when we can get reimbursed from the flex spending account from insurance.....my wife is a financial wizzard.....
SICK this morning......from taking my medicine without eating something first....thought I was going to hurl.....but luckily, my wonderful wife had packed me a lunch...so ate an early lunch for breakfast.
I think I like being a doctor......
Finally worked through the baby budget today.......timing is critical between when we have to pay the doctor bills versus when we can get reimbursed from the flex spending account from insurance.....my wife is a financial wizzard.....
SICK this morning......from taking my medicine without eating something first....thought I was going to hurl.....but luckily, my wonderful wife had packed me a lunch...so ate an early lunch for breakfast.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
2nd time is a charm
The Lupron shot went much better tonight; no bruise, no bump. I think Kelly was more confident and steady with the needle. We tried this one in the right leg.
Kelly also started a round of Doxycycline 100mg antibiotics, two times a day, getting ready for his part of this process.
So far I don't feel any effects of the shots. I figured out that Lupron is the drug that is sort-of putting me into menopause. I didn't realize I would have another period, but apparently I will next week. When that is finished I will start the stimulation drugs that basically put my body into hyper-ovulation-overdrive. I still don't get why they have to shut it all down first, but I am sure they know what they're doing.
The Dexamethasone appears to be a steroid, but I am not exactly sure why I am taking it. Seems like it has several could-be reasons, but I will have to ask Chris next time I talk to her. There are probably 50 pages on it in the binder she gave me, but I am too tired go look for it tonight. It was an exciting night with the American Idol finale and our boy Kris Allen from Conway taking the prize. At least 5,000 of his votes came from me and my mom!
Kelly also started a round of Doxycycline 100mg antibiotics, two times a day, getting ready for his part of this process.
So far I don't feel any effects of the shots. I figured out that Lupron is the drug that is sort-of putting me into menopause. I didn't realize I would have another period, but apparently I will next week. When that is finished I will start the stimulation drugs that basically put my body into hyper-ovulation-overdrive. I still don't get why they have to shut it all down first, but I am sure they know what they're doing.
The Dexamethasone appears to be a steroid, but I am not exactly sure why I am taking it. Seems like it has several could-be reasons, but I will have to ask Chris next time I talk to her. There are probably 50 pages on it in the binder she gave me, but I am too tired go look for it tonight. It was an exciting night with the American Idol finale and our boy Kris Allen from Conway taking the prize. At least 5,000 of his votes came from me and my mom!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Hit me with your best shot
Day one, and I am wondering if Kelly is too jet-lagged to be in charge of my first shot?! It's 10 units of Lupron and I am imagining little boy Kelly with his chemistry set working on a new experiment. He's focused intently on measuring the medicine. I think he has started over 3 times now. Perfectionist!
I also take a Dexamethasone tablet tonight, 0.5 mg. When I figure out what all the drugs are doing to me I will be sure to let you know. This morning we had a training session with Chris, our nurse, and there were 17 meds to learn about! We had just landed at the airport at 7am, coming home from our vacation in Alaska, and it was very hard to focus on the training.
Wow, that's it? Not bad at all. A tiny dollop of blood popped up where Kelly poked me, a bruise about the size of half dollar, and a bump just under the bruise, but overall not bad at all. This may not be as bad as I have been imagining.
We went for the left leg tonight because Left and Lupron both start with L. Sounds like a good plan, right? We've got about a week of just Lupron and then the other fun shots begin. All this is leading up to the making of baby Jane on or near June 1oth. Stay tuned for all the gory details!
I also take a Dexamethasone tablet tonight, 0.5 mg. When I figure out what all the drugs are doing to me I will be sure to let you know. This morning we had a training session with Chris, our nurse, and there were 17 meds to learn about! We had just landed at the airport at 7am, coming home from our vacation in Alaska, and it was very hard to focus on the training.
Wow, that's it? Not bad at all. A tiny dollop of blood popped up where Kelly poked me, a bruise about the size of half dollar, and a bump just under the bruise, but overall not bad at all. This may not be as bad as I have been imagining.
We went for the left leg tonight because Left and Lupron both start with L. Sounds like a good plan, right? We've got about a week of just Lupron and then the other fun shots begin. All this is leading up to the making of baby Jane on or near June 1oth. Stay tuned for all the gory details!
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