Isn't there a song about Patches?

Today I am wearing 3 iridescent, rectangle shaped patches, about 2 inches long and 1 inch wide each, on my right shoulder blade at the back. They actually take up less space than I imagined. I have been wearing the patches on my belly which, oddly enough, was less itchy and irritating than the back. I can't wait to get these off. Tomorrow I get to put on 4 patches, and then my dosage will change based on the results of my next ultra sound.

Tomorrow's ultra sound is the make it or break it point for this cycle. If I am all clear, assuming the embryos survive thawing and growing a few more days in the dish, then the FET is definitely happening.

I am not excited about starting shots again, especially not these 'fat' ones. We went in to sign some more consents on Monday and the nurse wanted to make sure I knew what to expect. She said these shots were going to hurt and that I would be on them for at least 6 weeks. Yay...

Monday they will thaw our 1 day old embryos. We have 7 of those. And on Tuesday they will thaw our 2 day old embryos. We have 5 of those. Then all 12 will grow together until they are 5 day old blastocysts by Friday. Day 5 is normally when, in a natural pregnancy, the embryo reaches the uterus and starts looking for a home.

We will have 'assisted hatching' which means they will nick the outer layer of the embryo to help it attach. Apparently, when you freeze an embryo the outer layer gets hard and that makes it difficult to implant. More sci-fi weirdness that I was not fully prepared for.

There should be an embryology report every day next week as they grade the quality and watch the embryos grow or (please don't let this happen) stop growing. This will be the hardest part of this whole process for me because, as far as I am concerned, each one of the embryos is a life that has been created, and if they stop growing (or die) at this stage......

Well, they are in an unnatural place, and I put them there intentionally, knowing it would not be the safest place for them and that not all of them would survive. I am not sure how I will react, but I will most surely have to face it next week.